THE WAY OF COUNCIL
by Jack M. Zimmerman and Virginia Coyle
(printable version)

Voice is another vehicle of transition. A few favorite songs or chants, possibly related to the topic of the council, awaken the expressive mode in the circle before the talking piece begins making its rounds.

Drumming is one of the most potent transitions into council, particularly in groups that have a special affinity for making music together. Drumming is itself a form of nonverbal council in which each drummer's contribution ideally becomes part of a unified field of sound. Rattles and other simple percussion instruments can be used in addition to drums.

When the group is not accustomed to making music together, a little conversation about attentiveness may be helpful before plunging into drumming. (I've sat through some ghastly sessions of fragmented drumming that, at best, could have been described as "noisy.") Experienced music-makers speak of three important levels of listening when drumming and rattling. First, listen to your own sound and become more conscious of its beat, intonation, and dynamics. Second, listen to all the other instrumental voices in the circle. Finally, sense the "rhythm of the group" that emerges, often dramatically, when the circle starts making music as a true ensemble. Once established, this beat serves as a foundation for individual riffs and rhythmic variations without the need of direct leadership. To reach this point, it is advisable for one or more drummers to take on the role of holding the basic beat when beginning the music-making.

Marking the transition out of council consciousness is also important. Closings can be as simple as a song, a circle of hands, or blowing out the candle. Sometimes a more elaborate ceremony is needed when the council has been long, intense, or clearly incomplete. An expanded closing might include acknowledging the lack of resolution, going around the circle with brief gestures of appreciation, or several minutes of silence followed by an appeal for the spirit of council to continue working through each member of the circle until the next gathering.

BEGINNING THE JOURNEY

Follow the light within
You've got to follow the light within
It's your heart that's telling you
Where is your freedom
Follow the light within.
-Adapted from an African-American spiritual

Now that we've set the council and chosen the talking piece, we're ready to light the candle and begin. The basic ground rule is already clear: Only the person holding the talking piece is empowered to speak. Apart from emergencies or indications of not being able to hear the speaker, the only exception to this rule is the use of a chosen word, sound, or gesture of acknowledgment, such as "Ho." Borrowed from the traditional council, Ho or Ah-Ho are expressions of agreement or appreciation that someone has spoken or expressed themselves silently. In some circles, as a sign of respect, a chorus of Ho's is spoken after each member is finished, more or less independent of approval or concurrence. Cognates used by some groups for Ho include, "Amen ... .. right on," or a silent bow with hands together. On occasion, an exuberant member of a teenage council has been known to stretch the customary Ho to "a million Ho's" and "NoHo."

In the simplest form of council the stick is passed around in a clockwise direction (the "sun" direction in most traditional councils). Passing the stick the other way (the "earth" direction) may signify a "coyote council," which is a circle in which the "inner trickster" is specifically invited to appear. However, the earth direction is commonly emphasized in ceremonies by some traditional people (the Hopi, for example).

Every member of the circle always has the option of hold­ing the talking piece in silence for a moment, leading the circle in a song or offering a simple gesture, and/or passing it on without speaking. Silence may be appropriate when there is no inner indication of a need for expression or if one prefers to hear more of the other voices before speaking during a subsequent round. Sometimes silence reveals a resistance to sharing or a feeling of separation from the group. In a perceptive circle this kind of silence becomes an eloquent part of the truth of the circle. Letting go of the expectation that people will speak is an essential part of the practice of council. Whatever the reason, expressing oneself through silence is always acceptable.

THE FOUR INTENTIONS OF COUNCIL

Although introducing council to newcomers in the circle is ultimately best accomplished by each group in its own way, we offer four basic intentions as a way to begin. The first three evolved at Heartlight School as a way of instructing guests partici­pating in the morning circles who had never sat in council before. The kids wanted a simple and shorthand way to describe the process, so we came up with a set of guidelines that is both poetic and practical. The fourth intention was added later in recognition of its importance and difficulty of achievement, even in an experi­enced circle. In recent years we have heard similar goals expressed by a variety of groups with whom we have had no historical connection.

SPEAKING FROM THE HEART

The expression, "speaking from the heart," has come to represent the essence of council to a great number of adults and young people in families, schools, and communities. I have suggested it be taken quite literally by newcomers to the circle as part of an exercise in which they imagine their words emerging from the mid-chest region rather than the mouth. Now and then, it is a good idea for all council participants to return to this image when speaking in the circle in order to renew this intention. When our words, or silence for that matter, come from the heart, there is usually a tangible feeling of expansion and sense of greater connectedness to others in the circle. We are more likely to feel non-attached to personal positions, non-defensive, and committed to recognizing the truth of the circle as a whole.

Of course, speaking from the heart doesn't necessarily mean saying something nice about oneself or somebody else. As the kids say, being "loving" and being "lovey-dovey" are not the same thing. Speaking from the heart means being as honest as one's feeling of safety in the circle permits. In a council that has built a substantial degree of trust, participants can be remarkably honest about themselves and each other, relative to their ability in conversation. Council can also be a safe place for “tough love”

Speaking from the heart also means saying something that really matters. Ideally, the entire circle is giving the speaker its undivided attention. The opportunity should be used wisely. Simplicity and passion are two attributes that support heartfelt expression. Long, rambling stories about people unknown to members in the circle, or getting lost in topics tangential to the issue at hand, place a strain on the circle's patience. Passion and a focus on personal revelation rather than philosophical reflection helps everyone stay attentive and honors the circle further by showing a willingness to take risks.

LISTENING FROM THE HEART

As rare as speaking from the heart may be in our ordinary lives, attentive listening is probably even rarer. When the topic of an ordinary conversation is engaging, most of us listen until we sense the direction of what's being said, and then we begin preparing our response before the other person has finished. This is particularly true when strong emotion enters the interaction. On the other hand, when we're not engaged, disinterest leads to intermittent listening, which leads to misunderstanding and irritation for all parties involved. The frustration of talking to someone who is distracted and not really present is familiar to all of us.

Thesuccess of council is largely determined by the quality oflistening in the circle. When it is "devout" (as the Quakers would say), the speaker feels empowered and is more likely to rise to the occasion:

"Sometimes I feel awkward and nervous, so it's amazing to feel the words come through me like this. I don't consider myself eloquent, but when the circle is really listening, I can speak in a way I never thought possible."

Conversely, listening devoutly invariably helps the listener feel more connected to the speaker, evenif there's strong disagreement with what is being said: "I used to really get irritated listening to you, but in council I can't react so quickly. By the time the talking piece comes to me, I've had the chance to listen to others as well as to you. I may still disagree with what you say, but I don't feel the same kind of charge."

"Once in meditation, I asked the Powers-That-Be to explain the sense of communion and wholeness I had felt in a recent council, during which we had exchanged stories about our mothers and fathers. The response was simple: When people sit in council and listen heartfully to each other's stories, God listens also."

The basic form of council creates the framework for attentive listening, because the option to interrupt has been removed. But that's only the first step. Ultimately, developing the ability to listen devoutly in council depends on training the whole body to listen more consciously through the practice of "persistent self­-witnessing” As with speaking heartfully, one way to witness the quality of one’s listening is to shift focus, as in the following exercise:

Imagine that the speaker's words are entering your mid-­chest area rather than your ears.

Take a few deep breathswhile holding the image of listening from the heart.

Do you feel a shift in perception? Are you more present?

After doing this simple exercise for a little while, the listener may experience an expanded understanding of what the person is saying or a greater personal connection to the speaker. The feeling of a "heart connection" with the speaker that follows the shift into devout listening can be remarkable. One circle member described such a shift to me:

"I was trying to keep from nodding off as she droned on and on. I'd heard her talk like this a hundred times before. I tried pretending my ears had moved down to my chest. That helped a little. Then I took several deep breaths ... Something shifted ... I entered the mystery of sitting quietly, listening, knowing that everything she was saying was important and had to be said. My body felt noticeably warmer. I heard the fear in her voice and was surprised by how close I suddenly felt to her."

If you find yourself growing restless and bored in council, you're probably not listening devoutly. Listening from the heart is energizing, even if the speaker is inarticulate, dull, or the topic or story is not your "cup of tea." If you can shift into devout listening, you will become more conscious that you're bored and begin to wonder why. Curiosity may-be followed by some insight (about your resistance to what's being said or to the speaker, for example), but in any event, the shift reduces the actual feeling of boredom and may even make you feel closer to the speaker. People often express amazement at feeling affection for individuals they thought boring or objectionable by listening more attentively to them in council.

If the council room is poorly ventilated (or too hot or cold), devout listening suffers. The leader needs to share responsibility for dealing with this situation by reminding the circle at the start that anyone can ask for a stretch, song or whatever change of-pace is needed when he or she has the talking piece.

Obviously, a necessary condition for devout listening is the ability to actually hear the speaker or, in the case of a person with hearing loss, reading his or her lips. A well-formed circle ensures a direct line of sight for everyone and reminders to talk louder usually solve this problem. One of the few acceptable interruptions in the council is, “Can you please speak up.” If a circle has one or­ more individuals with hearing problems, it is essential for everyone to remember to project their voices distinctly. A person with such loss may only remind people once or twice of their difficulty before retreating into isolation. Personally, I have never sat in a council in which signing is an integral part of the process, but I see no reason why such circles would not work effectively.

BEING OF "LEAN EXPRESSION­”

The third intention in council is a practical one. "Be brief" is the way the kids say it, since the length of school councils is usually limited by a rigid schedule. As a general rule, everyone should receive their fair share of the council's attention. When the council has the space to develop more slowly, I usually suggest that everyone express themselves in a "lean" way, but also emphasize that some individuals may need more time if their stories are truly longer or they have more going on at the moment. The question of how long to speak reminds me of Lincoln's response to a curious admirer, who commented on the unusual length of the President's legs. "They're not so long," he's supposed to have said. "Just long enough to reach the ground."

Being lean is an art. Great storytellers and poets have the skill to prune their stories and poems so that every word spoken keeps the narrative, characterizations, and images moving at just the right pace. Perhaps only a few of us can approach this level, but council is an excellent arena in which to 'improve one's ability to be concise and to find words and images that enliven our stories and statements.

Of course, some stories are meant to meander for a long time, perhaps even without a clear sense of beginning, middle, and end. The teller may get lost in the story and draw the whole circle into its web. Sometimes this shared surrender may produce a new understanding of the story's meaning or bring about a new ending or the teller.

I remember a fifty-year-old man who, during a relationship weekend, started out describing how happy he and his wife had been for "as long as he could remember." He gave detail after detail of their connubial bliss-as one could imagine he had done on many social occasions. Normally this would have engulfed the circle in boredom, but most of us soon began to hear the mutual isolation and stagna­tion that shaped his relationship. We waited attentively for him to hear his true story. After fifteen minutes, the quality of our listening finally forced him to abandon his familiar patter. Within a few minutes, his mood shifted, fear and sadness crept into his voice, and he began to falter. He ended his story in tears and with a new recognition that he and his wife were adrift in a marriage that lacked vitality and genuine intimacy.

The purpose of sharing stories in council is not to become professional storytellers or charismatic orators. Speaking from the heart creates its own eloquence and vitality that is invariably engaging. In storytelling, the underlying challenge is to find a means of expression that serves both teller and the circle.

One way to avoid unfocused stories and rambling statements that are not likely to serve the group is for the leader to make the theme of the council "crystal-clear" at the outset. When it is important to stay strongly focused on the issue at hand, an experienced council leader I know asks each person to restate the theme as a question to the person on his or her left as the talking stick is passed. However, when the theme is set strongly at the outset and shifts occur during the council, the leader can usually trust that the circle is searching for its true agenda.

Another ally in the quest for leanness is the willingness to give honest reflection to those who ramble. If anyone in the circle feels someone has gone on too long, been repetitive or unclear, they always have the option of saying something when they get the talking piece. A circle in which people can be that open with each other usually improve everyone's capacity to make their story "just long enough to reach the ground."

SPONTANEITY

The fourth intention of council evokes the principle of spontaneity. As the talking piece moves around the circle, a flood of memories and thoughts may be triggered, each one of which is a candidate for sharing. Trying to hold on to these while waiting to speak can be overwhelming. To counteract this tendency, set the intention not to rehearse what is being said. The importance of this in regard to listening is obvious: Preparing agenda while others are speaking limits the ability to listen attentively.

Rehearsing may also limit the ability to speak from the heart. Freed from the need to prepare, the ordinary mind is more likely to step out of the way and let the more intuitive voice speak. Holding the stick silently for a short while and letting the presence of the circle and the moment evoke what needs to be said, somehow dissolves habitual reactions and attachment to long-held positions. Perseverance with this practice leads to the realization that everything that feels important at the time doesn’t have to be spoken. Council teaches us that, often what we forget to say is either not essential or will be brought to the circle by someone else.

Ultimately, we learn that each voice in the circle, including the one’s own, is part of a larger “voice of the circle.” We speak personally and, as an aspect of this composite voice, simultaneously. In order for this transpersonal quality to fully emerge, the I-better-prepare-because-I’m-nervous part of us needs to get out of the way. Veteran members of a circle come to trust that when they are handed the talking piece, everything they have already heard in the circle will have been internalized and integrated with their personal associations and memories in the just the appropriate way. They come to trust that they will say exactly and uniquely what the circle needs to hear from them in that moment.

Developing this trust can be supported by a few simple practices.

As you listen to others, acknowledge your associations, memories, and insights with affection‑and then let themgo. Take a breath as the stick is being passed from one person to the next and prepare yourself as if each new speaker were the first in the circle. Wipe the state clean each time. Remind yourself that you are an integral part of the circle and, as such, will find the voice that is uniquely yours to speak. When you receive the talking piece, hold it for a moment, take a few more breaths, clear your mind and ask, “What is to be spoken now?” Wait for a response. If, after a while, your mind remains blank, scan the sensations occurring in your body. Identify their locations and note their qualities. Generally this will help initiate spon­taneous mental activity. As each image, story, or statement arises in your mind, note your willingness to put it out in the circle. If the feeling is yes, then go for it. If you have doubts or fears, silently ask yourself the following three questions:

Will speaking this serve me?

Will speaking this serve the circle?

Will speaking this serve the greater good?

By the "greater good" we mean the largest community or spiritual presence with which you identify in the moment. For example, in the moment this community might consist of your extended family, school community, neighborhood or city, business organization, racial or cultural identity, gender, the human family, the earth and all its sentient beings, God, Great Spirit, Buddha...

Definitive answers to the three questions are not necessary. Just asking them usually brings forth the clarity and courage needed to give voice to the thought or let it go. What you finally choose to do also provides insight about your long-term relationship to the circle. For example, if you find yourself often censoring what serves you because you don't think it will serve the circle, you may begin to wonder whether the group is an appropriate place for you. Sharing this feeling with the circle is essential to keeping your relationship with its members current and productive.

We don't want to imply that completely satisfying the fourth intention is a necessary condition for having a good council. Most of us do collect comments or stories we want to share as the talking piece moves around the circle. Then, if we feel safe and our intuition says these comments are appropriate, we go ahead and share them. Usually this approach serves us and the circle well. The fourth intention-and the first three as well-are offered, not as prerequisites for success, but rather as guiding principles for expanding and deepening the rewards of council.

CONFIDENTIALITY

After the candle is lit, I sometimes find myself looking around the group, making eye contact, and wondering how good a container the circle will be. Starting a council is like beginning an uncertain voyage. One wants to know who is on board and how much they can be trusted if the weather turns rough. Since there is only one vessel, everyone will sink or swim together.

When confidences are broken, people feel betrayed and trust erodes. If an appropriate level of confidentiality is not maintained, everyone has to spend a lot of time repairing damaged feelings and getting the council going again. With repeated violations of confidence, the circle loses heart, becomes dysfunctional, and eventually the vessel flounders altogether.

For these reasons it is important to give attention to the issue of confidentiality. Even in a group of mature adults, it is unwise to assume people will know how to maintain the integrity of the circle. Everyone in the group may not have the same tolerance for hearing what they shared in council repeated by someone outside the circle! A discussion about confidentiality needs to take place early in the life of the circle and renewed regularly as intimacy deepens. Agreements about confidentiality made at the launching of an ongoing council may be obsolete six months later.

"How do I know people will keep my secrets?" Jenny asked plaintively after we discussed the power of honest self-revelation.

"You don't, for sure," I responded. "But that's the point. We're setting out to build trust."

"But if I don't feel trust yet, how can I be honest?"

"By taking a few risks. Otherwise, it's a vicious circle rather than a trusting one, and we never get anywhere."

"Sounds scary."

"It is, but our agreement about confidentiality and practicing the four intentions of council help a lot. Without the agreement, it would be hard. Of course, we have to keep our agreement. Let's go over it again to see if everyone

still clear.

HONORING THE INTEGRITY OF THE CIRCLE

The maturity of the group, its intentions, the frequency of meeting, and the human environment in which it functions are all important in determining an appropriate confidentiality agreement. Here are a few general guidelines.

1. Determine the need to know. If a person outside the circle asks you questions about council business, ask

yourself if he has a need to know. Perhaps he is a member of the community in which the council func­tions

or the results of the circle's deliberations affect what he does. If the person has an authentic need to

know, talk about the general conclusions the council reached. If there. is no need to know, be direct and tell

the questioner that the council has an agreement about confidentiality and you'd prefer not to talk about its

proceedings. Explain the difference between secrecy and confidentiality, if that issue arises.

2. Examine your motivations. If you find yourself telling someone, who has no clear need to know, about a recent council, ask yourself, Why am I talking? Am I motivated by self-importance? Am I gossiping? Is my integrity intact?

3.Talk about topics, not personal stories. Identifying the topics and issues that have been discussed in a council is rarely a problem. However, if you suspect it may be, follow the first two guidelines. Retelling specific stories or comments and identifying the source is almost always a breach of confidence.

4. Stick to your own experience. If someone with a need to know asks you about a council, summarize your own experience, not another member's. If you have a desire to describe a council to a nonmember, stick to your own stories and comments.

5. Invite the curious. If a person expresses a lot of interest in the council, invite her to witness the next session, as long as that is appropriate and the rest of the group agrees. Don't get into the habit of being someone's source of information, even if she has a legitimate need to know.

6. Avoid leaks within the council between sessions. People who council together naturally feelfree to talk about

the sessions with each other in-between times. But damaging leaks canarise from this situation as well. At the Ojai Foundation, we call it “talking in the bushes.” Intimate conversations by and about people in the circle may rob the council of the opportunity to work through important material together. (This is often the case when “taking in the bushes” is used as a way of avoiding a face-to-face confrontation in the front of the whole circle.) On the other hand, the council may ask two or more individuals work out some personal issues before the next meeting and report to the whole circle. This approach is a common one in business, family, and community councils.

7. Make clear agreements. When your council begins to formulate a confidentiality agreement, stress the importance of making it simple and clear. Misunderstandings about confidentiality are not uncommon, particularly in circles of school children. In many situations writing out the agreement can be helpful. In an ongoing council, be sure to strongly discourage "talking in the bushes" as part of the confidentiality agreement.

8. Deal with broken agreements quickly. Everyone in the circle (not just the leader) is responsible for bringing breaches of confidence to the attention of all the members. Trying to find out who broke the agreement is less important than acknowledging the breach, processing the feelings, and re‑evaluating the confidentiality agreement. The violation may seriously diminish trust in the group for a while and the circle may have to go through a painful process of rebuilding. As well as signaling the need to renegotiate the confidentiality agreement, broken agreements are sometimes a sign of the need to reassess the group's vision or way of working together.

9. Encourage transparency. Whatever the agreement about confidentiality, remember that the nature of council is essentially non-secretive. Most of us feel unsafe in the world unless we have ready access to information and people that affect our lives, either directly or indirectly. More than creating a protective or defensive environment, council seeks to create freedom of communication while encouraging awareness and care for self and others. Although a confidentiality agreement is recommended for circles of children, many organizations and communities find that formalizing this precaution is unnecessary. Ultimately, the way of council challenges each of us to take responsibility for what we share outside, as well as inside, the circle. When the spirit of council is well grounded in a group, confidentiality issues are rarely a problem.

LIMITS AND LEGAL OBLI GATIONS

When council is being conducted in an educational setting, confidentiality can involve important legal issues.

"I'm a teacher and there are specific situations that can't be kept confidential. My primary concern is the physical and emotional well-being of my children. I'm also legally obligated to report any strong suspicion of child abuse or life-threatening statements to the appropriate authorities. The intentions of council are important but secondary to these responsibilities. How do I draw the line?”

Therapists have similar concerns.

"As a therapist, I have legal and ethical obligations to my clients and my profession. When I'm working in council with clients and one of them talks about taking his own or someone else’s life in a definitive way, I have to report the situation to the authorities. I work with groups of teenag­ers, too. What information can I legitimately hold back from their parents?”

These questions are difficult, I indeed! Such legal, profes­sional, and strongly felt personal obligations must be honored along with confidentiality. If the council leader is clear and direct, this can be achieved without compromising the integrity of the circle. In all the years I have participated in school and therapeutic councils, there have been only a few situations that required breaking the circle's confidentiality. Some guidelines for council leaders:

• Tell the group "up front" what your personal and legal obligations are as leader, teacher, therapist, parent, etc. Make clear that the confidentiality agreements have to be consistent with these restrictions. Your obligations as leader may inhibit the group somewhat, but that's the way it has to be.

• If a situation arises that has legal overtones, talk to the individual involved outside of council as soon as possible and reiterate your obligations. In a school situation, for example, strongly urge the student to speak to a counselor, school administrator, or parent (as appropriate). If you feel an ethical obligation to inform parents about a child who seems to be in serious trouble, tell the child of your intent to do so before you speak to his or her parents. Propose that the two of you, or the child and a counselor, speak to the parents together.

• When it has been necessary to take action outside of council, tell the circle as many, or as few, of the details as is comfortable for the person(s) involved. Minimally, the council leader need only acknowledge in the circle that the situation was handled outside the council in accordance with the confidentiality agreement.

FOCUSING THE COUNCIL

The circle is set, the talking piece chosen, the four basic intentions of council have been reviewed, and a confidentiality agreement is now in place. The next challenge is whether to set a theme for the council and, if so, how. To what extent can a council be given a specific focus? Can councils be shaped by establishing an agenda?

Yes and No!

Yes, you can set your course to investigate a chosen issue, make a decision, resolve a particular conflict, or deepen the feeling of community through council. But unlike meetings conducted in a hierarchical context (e.g, a board meeting run by the CEO or a faculty meeting led by the principal or department chair),the process of council has a way of refocusing or shifting a stated purposeby revealing hidden agendas. Specifying a direction for council is a little like two lovers attempting to set particular goals in their intimate relationship. Some movement in the desired direction may indeed take place, but the relationship has a life of its own, and the process of achieving their goals may only partially resemble what the partners originally envisioned.

Similarly, every council has its own shape and feeling tone, its own rhythm and pace. Since it is a ceremony, every council also reveals its own quality of spirit. As the talking piece makes its rounds, themes and feelings often emerge that augment or alter those offered at the outset. An effective council leader can pull the group back to a preset direction if the circle gets too far afield, but sometimes the spontaneous “will of the circle” cannot, or need not, be denied. It is not so much that the council leader loses control(as might happen in a conventional meeting), but rather that the council itself moves organically in a direction that is undeniably right. A sensitive council leader recognizes and supports this movement, even if it seems at odds with the original intention. Indeed, part o the power of council is to uncover the real agenda for the group, even when no one in the circle (including the leader) was in touch with it at the outset.

I remember an early Heartlight council, for which the teachers had set the theme: How can the students take greater responsibility for the upkeep of the school? A few of the children who spoke initially did their best to respond to what was clearly not a compelling topic for them. Instead their comments consistently revealed a feeling of not being empowered to make decisions that significantly affected their school life. For a, while I resisted shifting the focus, since I didn't want them to sidestep their responsibilities, but it soon became apparent that the real agenda was: Who has the power in this school? I interrupted the council, acknowledged that the theme had shifted appropriately so- and we proceeded to discuss the deeper issue productively. As a result of that council, the teachers and I brought the students into our decision-making process in a more active manner. Once the power issue had been explored, taking care of the school grounds no longer remained the thorny problem it had been before.

The feeling of right movement in council is akin to an orchestra willing to be directed by an unseen conductor whohas a far clearer grasp of the music being played than any of the orchestra members. When the right movement reveals the presence of this conductor, a good council leader and responsive circle are willing to follow and bring the music into fruition. Skilled classroom teachers have a similar experience. They prepare their classes carefully, but are willing to alter or even abandon the lesson plan if a more compelling issue emerges spontaneously in the classroom.

Having acknowledged that the council’s actual agenda may not be what you h ad in mind, you can now explore the choice of themes with humility and realistic expectations. Many council themes are best presented in the form of a question or request for a particular kind of story, which will shed light on the underlying agenda.

WAYS OF BEGINNING

At last, your circle is coming together for the first time. Perhaps it is the start of a workshop, the first of a series of project planning meetings, or the initial council of a group of older students. As one of the council leaders, you have talked about the group's basic intentions, told a story or two, and introduced the process of council. Now you want to help everyone get to know each other and begin to explore the group's dynamics. Here are various questions you can ask, starting with the least demanding from the point of view of personal risk:

What are your expectations of our time together?

What do you see as the agenda for this group right now?

What brought you to this circle?

What is your given name?

Who gave it to you and why?

What does it mean in its original language?

Do you like your name?

If you have a nickname, how did you get it? (This is a particularly effective way to begin a multicultural group.)

How would you describe the "tribe" or "tribes" to which you belong‑racially, culturally, ethnically, and/ or spiritually? (For adults and older children)

What experience, skill, or aspect of yourself do you bring to this group as a gift right now?

What's going on in your life right now? How does that connect with why we've come together?

Can you tell a story about one of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, or mentors‑whoever comes to mind?

Can you tell a story about something completely unexpected that happened to you recently?

When the group is mature and its members know each other or have met together in the past, more probing openings are possible. For example, if you sense uneasiness in the circle, the following kinds of questions might be useful:

• What feeling, pattern of behavior, or aspect of yourself do you want to let go of right now in order to be more present in this circle?

• Is there anything about this group or its purpose that makes you uneasy?

• What is the greatest obstacle to feeling good about yourself right now?

• What is your greatest fear right now?

WEATHER REPORTS

As a leader, it is often a good idea to check in with the circle to see how everyone is doing, uncover possible hidden difficulties in the group's dynamics, or set the agenda for a future council. In such situations you can set the theme in a straightforward manner:

"Tell us how you're feeling or what's on your mind right now. You may want to include comments you feel will serve our time together." Another way to uncover feelings in the group is to ask for a "weather report": "How's your internal weather right now? Are you calm and sunny or is there a storm brewing? Give us a report."

Weather reports are effective when council time is limited or members of the group are still a little shy with each other. They are also particularly effective with young people when the group is still in the stage of building trust. The weather metaphor usually stimulates lighthearted, simple, and imaginative responses that are less threatening to share than direct revelations but still give members a "snapshot" of the circle's climate. (Obviously, strict adherence to weather vocabulary is not necessary.)

“TURNING INTO THE SKID”

Strengthening trust is central to the viability of council. To build trust, members of the circle need to express their personal feelings as honestly as possible. A productive conversation in a circle of adults might sound something like this:

"I haven't been feeling comfortable in our last few councils. I ask myself why I should trust this group with my personal stuff. I don't feel safe, even though I'm getting to know everyone better. I don't know why it's so hard for me to feel trusting here."

"I've been struggling, too. I notice we've been staying on the surface lately. We seem to be protecting ourselves. I wonder if we've been breaking our agreement of confidentiality and talking about our councils with other people."

"It's good to get all this out in the open. At least we trust the circle enough to say when we don't! Maybe we're not really listening to each other the way we used to."

Fluctuations in trust are not unusual in an ongoing council. Often a loss of trust can be understood if the group is willing to explore the issue honestly. Common reasons for diminishing trust include:

• A clear confidentiality agreement has not been made.

• One or more people have violated the group's confidentiality agreement.

• There is conflict in the group that has not been addressed.

• Factions have developed, or personal animosities have arisen, which have not been confronted.

• The council leaders and/or participants are inattentive and unable to do their part in keeping the circle on track. As a consequence, the council does not feel like a "safe container."

• There are a few people in the circle who are uncomfortable (perhaps without realizing it) with a sensitive issue that is on the agenda. They may laugh nervously or change the subject whenever the topic arises and it is their turn to speak.

Sometimes the sense of well-being in the circle diminishes for subtler reasons. It may be that enough trust has been built to break through to a deeper level of honest interaction, but the group hasn't made the leap, perhaps simply out of attachment to old patterns. People feel restless and grouchy; minds wander. The councils seem flat or stuck. Finally, somebody says, “We’re not listening to each other. Maybe we’re avoiding going deeper.”

Crises of trust in an ongoing council offer opportunities for expanding and deepening the work of the council- if the group is willing to attend to the difficulties and speak truthfully to each other. We call this “turning into the skid." A council that avoids openly dealing with its unhealthy dynamics loses power to communicate in a trusting way and so misses the opportunity for greater intimacy. Eventually the councils become 'superficial and flounder.

The simplest way to explore the trust issue is to ask everyone to say how trusting they feel about the group process. If the circle has reached a level of intimacy that will support making comments about specific people, all the better. Sometimes the council leadership can support this process by speaking to those members of the circle outside of council who have concerns not being expressed to the whole group and inviting them to share their feelings at the next meeting.

If the group is fairly new or trust has become a problem, then one or more councils focused on the issue of trust may be useful. The theme for such meetings is often best expressed in the form of a question, or request for a story:

What does trusting someone mean to you?

Whom do you trust a lot in your life?

What is it about that person that allows you to trust him or her?

How do you know when your trust is faltering?

Do you feel you are a person who can be trusted? In what areas are you particularly trustworthy?

Are there areas in which you are not?

What is it about a group that makes you feet more trusting? Less trusting?

Tell a story about a time when a group or individual Tell trusted betrayed you.

Tell a story about a time you betrayed a trust.

"Turning into the skid” is an effective policy in many situations. Feelings of fear, confusion, disco uragement, and loss direction are other kinds of "skids" that arise frequently in ongoing circles. Each of these can be addressed by choosing a suitable question or request for a story as the focus for an exploratory council/

A while ago, the Ojai Foundation Board was facing a number of challenges due, in part, to unclear vision and attach­ment to old ways of doing business. We had planned a series of fund-raising evenings, the second of which had been poorly publicized. Not a single prospective donor showed up! After moping around for a while, we started poking fun at ourselves and wondering how we might use our experience productively. We then "turned into the skid" in an impromptu council. Our painful experience that night led to the choice of a theme for the opening council of the board meeting a few days later: “Imagine that we are going to close down the Ojai Foundation, disburse our assets, and bring all our projects to a close. Is there anything you haven't done or would regret not doing? What do you need to accomplish to feel complete? This is not merely a hypothetical exercise. Shutting down is a real possibility.”

It was a startling and powerful council. Each of us, in our own way, let go of our attachments to the community in that moment. We mourned our loss, described an abundance of unfinished business, and reiterated our deep affection for each other, the Foundation land, and our service in the world. We went to bed that night without making any decisions about the future. The next morning we held a "visionary council", from the Foundation's purpose and direction emerged more clearly than ever before. Several bold new ideas were put forth for, improving our programs and financial position. Later that afternoon we created a ceremony of "rebirth."

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